Saturday, May 7, 2011

Early in the morning and I ain't got nothin' but the blues

I've actually been awake for a while now. I cannot get used to my CPAP mask for my sleep apnea. Here's the biggest issue: I usually stay up late reading and/or studying (when I'm in school). Hence, I often fall asleep while reading and especially while studying. (Microeconomics? Snore city.) So, let's see: I went upstairs with my baby/dog and fell asleep WITH my CPAP for about 3 hrs. N came in to take the dogs out for a walk and I woke up and watched Jimmy Fallon with him. Then of course I was wide awake, despite a dose of Excedrin PM. So, I thought I'd read and, well, I fell asleep with my beloved Kindle 3G on my lap, then woke up again shortly after 5. The odd thing is that I feel somewhat rested. Maybe this wacko sleep cycle works for me after all.

The pain in my pelvis and lower back is unbearable due to my bladder tumor. I'm just miserable beyond belief. I could make something up and tell you that I'm fine and hanging in there, etc., but why lie about it? Cancer hurts - not always, mind you - but often enough.

It's kind of funny that today is Bladder Cancer Awareness Day. I'm aware of it, already! I even have my T-shirt, which is the color of urine after taking pyridium (bright orange). Not sure who came up with that color, but I do love orange.

Last night the weirdest thing happened. I'd been thinking about another blogger, someone from the days when I blogged about religious issues, and wondered how she was doing since being diagnosed with brain cancer several years ago. She and her husband also had a daughter who had a myriad of health problems. It turns out that their daughter passed away on Good Friday (see link to "Emma Grace's Story" below). How heartbreaking. I can't get them out of my mind. Tomorrow I'm investing in the Big Candle at church for them. And I've said a lot of prayers.

Speaking of prayers, N went to meet with our priest the other day, not long after I received my latest cancer diagnosis, and he recommended that we pray the Akathist Hymn to the Holy Virgin Theotokos, and he's been reading it to me right before bed. It's on page 231 of A Prayer Book for Orthodox Christians from Holy Transfiguration Monastery. This book is a  must-have for any Orthodox home, but I prefer the more accessible Orthodox Prayer Book from St. Anthony's Monastery, which has all the basics plus extra prayers for particular needs.

Well, today I'm continuing to take it easy. I don't have any energy anyway. Heck, I may even blog again. This is getting fun. Until later! Toodles!